Wednesday, May 1, 2013

5 Writing Lessons From WWF Wrestlers

#1: It's hard work

I mean, even though those wrestlers are faking it, it's still a lot of work, right? They're working up a sweat as they perform the Tombstone Piledriver, the Figure-Four Leglock and the Gutwrench Powerbomb*.

Which is like writers. We have to fake a lot of things. I don't know about you, but I've never had the joy of learning I was suddenly capable of wielding magic. But since I write fantasy, I better make a good effort of figuring out what that would feel, look and be like.

I've also never been a boy. Or an orphan. And I've never been chased by strange creatures who fight dirty using their own snot.

But since my character has, I better learn to fake it!

And, I have to say, I'm glad I don't have to learn to perform a Crippler Crossface to do it.

#2: Put on a good show

They sure know how to add drama, don't they? And it's not like they stop at the actual fighting. Oh, no. There are all kinds of plots and sub-plots going on. Wrestlers trying to take over the whole WWF organization, stealing girl wrestlers to marry them and kidnapping other wrestlers to make their minions. Yep, those guys know how to put on a good show.

Writers, make sure you're entertaining your readers. Look at your story, really look at it. How can you stretch it, push it further and make it an even better show?

#3: Create villains the audience loves to hate. 

Ok. So, they have a wrestler named the Undertaker who runs the Ministry of Darkness. Come on now. That's just awesome, right? What a great sounding bad guy!

And who doesn't want to see a muscely hero-like wrestler take that guy down? Ok. Actually I don't. BUT still! If I was into wrestling, I totally would.

Writers, remember to make your villains so horrible and vicious and rotten that your readers will love to hate them. Don't go easy on your heroes. Pit them against a really great bad guy. Make your main character suffer. Make they grow. And eventually let them take that villain down. Your audience, or readers, will definitely cheer.

#4: Remember, chairs are handy. 

Those wrestlers sure know how to use a chair, right? Forget the mace, I just need to learn how to smack would-be muggers and assailants with a metal folding chair. It seems very effective. Of course, I'd need a bigger purse...

As for writers, we probably shouldn't make bashing someone with a chair a habit. Instead, we need to plop our rears into those chairs, preferrably ones with a bit of cushion, as much as possible and get the writing done.

#5: Work attire

Wrestlers sure come up with some snazzy costumes. Which reminds me of Nacho Libre...

"Chancho. When you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It's for fun."

But as far as spandex and rhinestones go. Every writer will have choose for themselves how to work those into your writing repertoire.

*And no, I am not making those up. Those are the names of real WWF wrestling moves. Don't they just make you want to tune in for the next match?

Are you a WWF wrestler fan? And do you wear spandex and rhinestones when writing? 


  1. I am not a WWF fan but my son loved it. We even went to a show live once. (As opposed to the time we went there dead - long story.)

    I have never worn spandex when writing but now that you mention it is not a bad idea and would keep my family out of my writing space.

    I love your sense of humor. Terrific post.

  2. Great lessons, everyone likes to be entertained.

  3. Hahaha! This post makes me laugh. Amazingly, you are so right. WWF wrestlers really can teach me so much about writing. Who woulda thunk?