|Of course. I don't look quite this |
good when I'm insane. Close, but
Five birthdays...four of the kids and my husband's. A princess tea birthday party. A birthday party at the park. Two vacations to California. Chaperoning school field trips. School getting out. A family get together at our house which involved a whirlwind of cleaning that ended in shoving boxes and piles of junk in our bedroom. The cleaning and de-junking of our bedroom (and I finally found two Christmas gifts I misplaced! In June. blech.) Touring a different elementary school which is becoming a STEAM school. Stressing about whether not or whether to move the kids to it. Wildfire season. A fevery baby who got very sick for about a week. 4-H day camps. Two trips to see plays. Getting one son ready for science camp. And lots and lots of playing at the pool and on our new swing set and with friends.
All this equals loads of fun and laughing and great memories (except for the junky bedroom...I could forget that one and feel just fine. Oh and the sick baby. That wasn't fun either) and also ZERO writing time. Sure I could have squeezed it in somewhere. Maybe. But I think there are times you have to let things go. And knowing it's only for a short time can help.
So, now what? I've got to get Jasper revised. But it's so hard to jump back into a project which has been neglected for months (even if I've been working on it for years!)
I've been telling myself that July would be mine. That is when I'd finally get back to my writing. And now, July is finally here.
But I find myself wanting to put it off, trying to avoid it. Which is so strange, considering how much I love to write, how much I love this story. But it's so much easier to plan to write than to actually make yourself do it. And there's still so much I need to figure out for this story.
So, last night I forced myself to find all the notebooks I've jotted down thoughts and plans in. I opened Jasper up on my laptop and read the last bit I'd worked on. I instantly saw things I wanted to improve. I caught a mistake with the time line I hadn't seen before (duh Erin). I got to the spot I left off.
And just like that, I was back in.
Today I have plans to write for an hour during nap time. I've warned my kids. I'll turn off the phone and stay off the internet. No one better ask for a snack or whether or not they can go to a friend's house. They are to have that all sorted out beforehand. Momma is to be left alone.
I'm hoping to get back into the blogging world, too. But only just a bit.
Blogging is funny. I find, for me anyway, that if I'm blogging about writing, but not actually finding time to write, I'm fooled into thinking I'm being productive. And I'm not. I'm networking and having fun, but I'm not finishing my book. In a perfect world I'd have a couple extra hours in the day and have time for both of those. But at this season in my life, I don't. So, I have to choose. Writing? Or networking?
Networking is easier and, sometimes, more fun.
But I need to write.
There's a certain sadness that seems to follow me around when I'm not writing.
I don't like it.
So, now I'm off to finish the dishes, feed the kids some lunch, read my girls books and pop that baby down for a nap.
And then it will be me and Jasper. Alone at last.